Friday, November 19, 2004

Lies, Damned Lies and My Blog

It has now been suggested by a commenter that I have been "economical with the truth" when presenting my stories about my prodigious literary output.

I can assure you that, while I am a fiction writer, this particular blog is nothing but a bald, factual account of my writing process. There are, of course, things that don't fit within the scope of a "my process" description, and now I realize that by leaving them out, I am painting myself as a writer with the energy and drive of a chihuahua on crank.

Here are some "how I do it" sorts of things:

1. My kitchen floor would grab your socks off.
I have not folded laundry, completely finished doing the dishes or mopped the kitchen floor since late October. These are things that, in the normal course of life, I do regularly. But not in November during the big push.

2. I am not (despite what I would like my boss to think) a critical member of my work team.
I am a tech writer. My job at meetings is to take better notes than the engineers (which I can do with one brain lobe tied behind my back) and to offer witty and acerbic commentary where appropriate. My boss knows that I can multitask well enough to both take notes and write my novel, and is fully aware that I am doing so. But I am important enough that my boss supports my literary efforts (winning literary awards goes a long way toward validating one's street cred) and wants to keep me working for him. He's not hung up that I'm not listening to every single blah blah blah about aligning the debenture to maximize phalangeal output. This is why I keep this job.

3. I am not superhuman. This does take a personal toll.
I recently went through a bout of depression that was fairly severe. I questioned a lot of my decisions, including whether to keep participating in Nanowrimo. I ultimately decided to continue, but other things went by the wayside.

4. Restaurants exist for the same reason that frozen dinners do, and there's nothing wrong with cereal for dinner.
My husband and I normally love to cook, but during November, we do it less. The crock pot is our friend, and my 12-year-old budding cook loves the chance to stretch her cooking wings by making the family dinner at least once a week.

5. Three words: noise cancelling headphones.
It normally takes me a little over an hour to do two thousand words. I am disciplined enough and have been doing this long enough that I can reliably work at that pace for a sustained period of time. On the other hand, I am also a person who, once my process is interrupted, takes a while to get back on track, and it takes an enormous amount of energy to sustain that kind of focus without help. Fortunately, noise cancelling headphones are a godsend. I have gone so far as to wear them WITH earplugs, meaning that I can hear absolutely nothing but the music I've chosen. This isolates me completely from anything that could distract me and cuts my writing time dramatically.

Those are my words of wisdom. Some actual, practical things that keep me writing constantly. But why? Why do I do this to myself and how can I keep up the pace? I've asked myself that a lot lately as I transition away from Nanowrimo. There have been several of us who are professional writers of one stripe or another who have realized that Nanowrimo was a miracle for us at first. We needed the motivation and the structure and the goal, but we don't need it anymore. We're now internally driven and writing all the time. We're ready for the next step. It's made me question my participation in Nano, and here are some things I've come up with:

1. Nanowrimo was the best thing that ever happened to my writing.
In the same way that college was the best thing that ever happened to my thought process. It taught me how to do it. How to plough through my blocks and get the words down. I would never have made it this far without it, and I will always be grateful. But I was graduated from college and have moved on.

2. I am the exception, not the rule.
I multitask better than anyone I know. That's just true. I am also absurdly hard working and internally driven. A lot of the time, I AM a chihuahua on crank. I realize this. But I also know that as a child, my parents constantly berated me for being "lazy," and I have always seen myself as a mostly unmotivated person. But this is important to me, and when things are important to me, I make them happen.

3. My name is not Mary Sue.
It's true, I ride a motorcycle and look pretty good doing it. I can cook and sew and write award winning novels. I'm a good singer and can be entertaining at parties. But it's also true that I cannot play a musical instrument to save my life. I have tried. I have taken lessons, submerged myself in it, and have come out on the other side untouched by talent. I am NOT good at team sports. I can't dance. I hate those parties and their loud music and crickets scare the shit out of me. I am overly emotional much of the time, and my life can be full of the most sophomoric kinds of drama. I don't pretend to be perfect. I'm not. I can't do everything.

People need to find their own reason for doing it, and recognize that you are not going to be the best at everything. Yup, it's the 19th and I've only got 4500 more words to do. Hooray for me. On the other hand, there are other people who have hit 100k+ and are still going. I can't compete with them. I don't even try.

You don't have to believe me when I say that I write 2500+ words a day, even when Nano is not in session. It will not impact my process. What you have to believe is that, if you want to, YOU can write 1,666.6 words a day and finish. This is doable.

2 comments:

Roberto Iza Valdés said...
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Anonymous said...

I have a dessert recipe site/blog. It pretty much covers dessert recipe related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)