What Happens After You're Done?

I've been done with my novel for more than a week now. Crossed the 50,000 word mark on the 20th and decided not to punish myself and my family by keeping up my 2,500 word a day pace. So...what have I been up to?

Apart from the whole holiday thing (made easier by the fact that both girls were out of town for this holiday, leaving the Pirate and I to fend for ourselves), I have been doing a whole lot of NO WRITING. I haven't edited anything. I've barely updated my blogs. If you count all the words I write on a daily basis for work (yes, I write for money), in email, updating my blogs and for actual fiction content, my normal output in November approaches 10,000 words a day. But for the past week, it's been more like 2 or 3 thousand words a day, which is negligible by comparison.

But I have been reading, and let me tell you something - if there's anything that's as important to writers as actually developing the discipline to sit down and write, it's reading. Novels, short stories, news articles, magazines. It's all important. Pay attention as you read to descriptions that are particularly moving or surprising. If something makes you happy, sad or angry, dissect it. Find out how that author was able to manipulate you into feeling what s/he wanted you to feel. If you find something particularly bad, dissect what was so awful about it, and don't ever do it yourself.

I tend to read a lot of magazines, mostly The New Yorker. It has some amazing fiction that has informed my own fiction for quite a while, now. There are things about New Yorker fiction I do not like, and I'm hyper aware of that in my own work. I look at the words and mull over the choices that someone else made and think about how I would do it. I notice how a lot of the stories in The New Yorker have a sort of sameness about them. Part of this is editorial choice - the New Yorker audience is young and hip and experimental, but let's not lose our heads, right?

Find a magazine or book or newspaper whose style you like, and figure out what about it appeals to you. The thing is not to make your fiction sound like their style, but to know how to create mood, to influence, to illustrate.

Crossing Over with Aoibheall

As of last night, I've officially crossed over the 50,000 word mark. I could have done it Friday, but I made a conscious decision that since I can't even validate my word count until Thursday, there was no need to keep flogging myself.

Unless I really wanted to.

Now, I've finished 50,000 words. What am I going to do next? I think I'm going to finish the novel. There are two scenes left to write that will probably add up to a total of about 7,000 words. And then, I don't know. Sure, I've said I'm going to take some time off, but the truth of the matter is that while my intentions are good, I'm not capable of just not writing at all.

But the thing is, during the month of November, I've continued to write down my ideas and generate characters and plots for my next projects, so it's not like I'm at a loss.

In the meantime, though, I think I'm going to stand here with a whole bunch of other people at the finish line, cheering on those who are still slogging through it. GO TEAM!!

Lies, Damned Lies and My Blog

It has now been suggested by a commenter that I have been "economical with the truth" when presenting my stories about my prodigious literary output.

I can assure you that, while I am a fiction writer, this particular blog is nothing but a bald, factual account of my writing process. There are, of course, things that don't fit within the scope of a "my process" description, and now I realize that by leaving them out, I am painting myself as a writer with the energy and drive of a chihuahua on crank.

Here are some "how I do it" sorts of things:

1. My kitchen floor would grab your socks off.
I have not folded laundry, completely finished doing the dishes or mopped the kitchen floor since late October. These are things that, in the normal course of life, I do regularly. But not in November during the big push.

2. I am not (despite what I would like my boss to think) a critical member of my work team.
I am a tech writer. My job at meetings is to take better notes than the engineers (which I can do with one brain lobe tied behind my back) and to offer witty and acerbic commentary where appropriate. My boss knows that I can multitask well enough to both take notes and write my novel, and is fully aware that I am doing so. But I am important enough that my boss supports my literary efforts (winning literary awards goes a long way toward validating one's street cred) and wants to keep me working for him. He's not hung up that I'm not listening to every single blah blah blah about aligning the debenture to maximize phalangeal output. This is why I keep this job.

3. I am not superhuman. This does take a personal toll.
I recently went through a bout of depression that was fairly severe. I questioned a lot of my decisions, including whether to keep participating in Nanowrimo. I ultimately decided to continue, but other things went by the wayside.

4. Restaurants exist for the same reason that frozen dinners do, and there's nothing wrong with cereal for dinner.
My husband and I normally love to cook, but during November, we do it less. The crock pot is our friend, and my 12-year-old budding cook loves the chance to stretch her cooking wings by making the family dinner at least once a week.

5. Three words: noise cancelling headphones.
It normally takes me a little over an hour to do two thousand words. I am disciplined enough and have been doing this long enough that I can reliably work at that pace for a sustained period of time. On the other hand, I am also a person who, once my process is interrupted, takes a while to get back on track, and it takes an enormous amount of energy to sustain that kind of focus without help. Fortunately, noise cancelling headphones are a godsend. I have gone so far as to wear them WITH earplugs, meaning that I can hear absolutely nothing but the music I've chosen. This isolates me completely from anything that could distract me and cuts my writing time dramatically.

Those are my words of wisdom. Some actual, practical things that keep me writing constantly. But why? Why do I do this to myself and how can I keep up the pace? I've asked myself that a lot lately as I transition away from Nanowrimo. There have been several of us who are professional writers of one stripe or another who have realized that Nanowrimo was a miracle for us at first. We needed the motivation and the structure and the goal, but we don't need it anymore. We're now internally driven and writing all the time. We're ready for the next step. It's made me question my participation in Nano, and here are some things I've come up with:

1. Nanowrimo was the best thing that ever happened to my writing.
In the same way that college was the best thing that ever happened to my thought process. It taught me how to do it. How to plough through my blocks and get the words down. I would never have made it this far without it, and I will always be grateful. But I was graduated from college and have moved on.

2. I am the exception, not the rule.
I multitask better than anyone I know. That's just true. I am also absurdly hard working and internally driven. A lot of the time, I AM a chihuahua on crank. I realize this. But I also know that as a child, my parents constantly berated me for being "lazy," and I have always seen myself as a mostly unmotivated person. But this is important to me, and when things are important to me, I make them happen.

3. My name is not Mary Sue.
It's true, I ride a motorcycle and look pretty good doing it. I can cook and sew and write award winning novels. I'm a good singer and can be entertaining at parties. But it's also true that I cannot play a musical instrument to save my life. I have tried. I have taken lessons, submerged myself in it, and have come out on the other side untouched by talent. I am NOT good at team sports. I can't dance. I hate those parties and their loud music and crickets scare the shit out of me. I am overly emotional much of the time, and my life can be full of the most sophomoric kinds of drama. I don't pretend to be perfect. I'm not. I can't do everything.

People need to find their own reason for doing it, and recognize that you are not going to be the best at everything. Yup, it's the 19th and I've only got 4500 more words to do. Hooray for me. On the other hand, there are other people who have hit 100k+ and are still going. I can't compete with them. I don't even try.

You don't have to believe me when I say that I write 2500+ words a day, even when Nano is not in session. It will not impact my process. What you have to believe is that, if you want to, YOU can write 1,666.6 words a day and finish. This is doable.

What Does It Feel Like?

A friend pointed out an interesting thing: I am my novels.

When I was writing about the singer who courted the dancer by creating music for her, I read it out loud incessantly, trying to get people to listen to it and love me. When I wrote about the woman who had been neglected and abused all her life and left her home to live with a man who would ultimately abandon her, I felt protective of my women friends and angry on their behalf for any mistreatment the world dealt them. When I wrote about the man who fell in love with himself and died trying to possess an illusion, I withdrew from everyone around me. Now I'm writing about a woman who is putting her present in jeopardy in order to fix her past, and my home life is suffering.

On this one, I don't have any advice. I'm lucky that I'm married to an understanding person who doesn't take it all to heart. Much.

But if I really want my characters to have life and meaning, I have to be them. I have to be inside their heads and live with them and move them around. Unfortunately, I'm not terribly good at switching it on and off.

And now for something completely different...

And, for my very first (and likely only) writing update: today is Tuesday, November 16, and I am 37,693 words into my 50,000. I'm 75% finished, having written an average of 2,513 words a day (with a day job and two children). At this rate, I will write 75,360 by November 30th. I actually have a plan for that too:

The novel I'm writing now, Mary Ferguson Offered, is probably not going to be much longer than 50,000 words. So, my plan is to go straight to novel #2, which is unnamed as of right now. I am not sure which of two novels I might do first (remember - always be planning your next project) but if you'd like to have a vote in it, you can take this poll at my other blog. I won't start writing the next one until I'm done with this one, but that could be very soon.

Tips & Tricks #7: Juggling for Writers

Reading the profiles on the Nanowrimo site has been eye-opening for me. The biggest surprise has been finding out people's reasons for writing. Some people got into it just to "see if [they] could do it." Some people always wanted to write a book but didn't know how to get started.

A surprising number have attempted it and failed, and are coming back to try again. I admire those people the most, although they confuse me just the same.

Me, I do it for the money. I would like to get my writing published and out to a wider audience. Maybe it's mercenary of me, but the reason I devote so much of my time to this is that I expect my efforts to eventually mean something.

If you want to be a writer who gets paid, though, there's a lot to do that does not involve writing.

Editing
The only people whose first drafts are perfect have sold their souls to Satan and will be paying for it in the hereafter. For the rest of us - there's editing. It's generally a good idea to put a piece aside for a few weeks. Forget about it. Lose the associations you have with it so that when you go back to it, your mind isn't automatically filling in the blanks the way it was when you wrote it. Then pick it up and read it again. Fix all those places where you had said to yourself "I'll take care of that later." All the inconsistencies, the incongruities.

Then give it to a friend. Let someone else who doesn't already know the story look at it. It's best if it's someone who can be honest with you, because chances are that they're going to say that your story is *gasp* not perfect.

The last one is one I found out sort of accidentally: read your story out loud. Even if you're alone, read it aloud. Your mouth is much smarter than you think it is and it'll make word substitutions and point out problems that your brain glossed over. It's better if you have two copies of your manuscript - one for you and one for a friend who can make note of your changes while you read.

Marketing
You've spent months building your trumpet. How silly are you if you never blow it? Get a copy of the Writers Guides to the Novel and Short Story Market and look at it. Refer to it. Mark it up and put zillions of little tape flags on it. Send off for copies of the publications that interest you, or head to the library or bookstore. Then start sending off those submissions. The very worst they can do to you is say "No," and after a while, even that doesn't hurt anymore.

Creating
If you have a piece that you think is great and you've worked hard on, by all means take a rest and enjoy the fruits of your labors. But don't let that rest be any more than five minutes. Get back to work. Keep writing. Keep generating ideas. The brain is like a muscle in that the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets. Every time you have a story idea, jot it down, wherever you are. When you're ready to start work on a new project, whip out your notebook and you'll have a wealth of material to choose from. Not every story is right for every market, so the more you write, the better your chances of catching on somewhere.

Ideally, you should be doing all of these things all the time. Isaac Asimov, a man with over 500 books to his credit, always had five or six projects going at once. When he ran creatively dry on one thing, he picked up another, which would often give him ideas for yet another.

You're a writer. Act like a writer!

Tips & Tricks #6: Checking Out the Competition

My first year of Nanowrimo there were 14,000 people signed up. I had a story that had been churning around in my brain for years and I felt that I finally had the bugs worked out of it. I was, as they say, at the height of my game.

And on the night of October 31, my grandmother died. I changed my plan with mere minutes to go before the writing could officially commence. I spent the first week of November either in route or actually in Phoenix attending her funeral. And writing. Every day, I wrote. I would write like a fiend every night, usually upwards of 2,500 words. I wrote while crying, I wrote while laughing, I wrote alone or surrounded by mourning family.

Then, on the 13th of November, I found out I was being laid off. I had a month to find a new job. So, I got my resume together. And I wrote.

Here's the thing: what spurred me to write like the wind was not the fact that my circumstances were bad. What spurred me to write was the fact that when one searched the Nanowrimo site, one could plainly see all the other writers out there whose word counts were...improbable. There was one that first year whose word count bar indicated 999,999 (the highest the indicator goes) but whose novel consisted of its title endlessly repeated. There were several like that, and they were at the top of the list. It was easy to say "if you're not going to take it seriously, why bother?"

I finished with over 83,000 words that year, making it into the top 20 finishers by word count.

The next year was a little different. The next year, there were 25,000 people participating, and of that 25,000, I wasn't even in the first 5,000. I did finish, but I only wrote 51,000 words. I wasn't as excited about it as I had been the year before, and my lack of excitement was worsened by the fact that I knew that practically everyone on the planet was doing better than I was.

This year, I have decided that my answer to the stiff competition is this: complete denial. I have not even LOOKED at the entire list of authors to see who's doing what. I can see the people in my local group, and some of them are ahead of me and some are behind. And it doesn't matter. This isn't a contest with anyone but myself. This year, I am not going to write until I drop because I know I don't have to. This year, I am not going to obsess about how someone in the world has written more words than I have. I am not going to blame myself if I don't spend every second writing rather than hanging out with my children and my husband. They're what counts. They love me whether or not I'm a novelist.

I guess my tip about checking out the competition boils down to this: don't. Because it doesn't exist. No one can write your story. No one has your voice. Pay attention to what you're doing, sit down and write the words, and you won't need to worry.

Day 6: Hey, What Happened to YOU?

Those of you who have actually read this now (yeah, both of you) will realized that I was going along great guns for days and days, and then stopped. What happened? Did I give up writing? Am I dead?

What happened to me happens to all of us sooner or later, and it's what separates the writers from the wannabes. What happened is that my life blew up.

On Monday the first, I sat down and wrote about 2100 words. It was easy. It was fun. I was enthusiastic as all get-out. I planned to go to the write-in on Tuesday and write even more and hold myself up as a shining beacon of authorhood. Then, just before I was set to leave for work, one of the people who works for me announced she is quitting.

My world was suddenly in a tailspin. This is a person who does an amazing amount of work in our little group and her leaving is a tragedy on a grand scale. This is worthy of panic! However, I went to the write in. I was even productive, writing nearly 3,000 words.

Wednesday, I went to work and attempted to deal with the aftermath of her leaving, but I felt awful. By Wednesday night, I was fully in the grips of a stress-induced attack of the shingles, which for me is pretty debilitating (they're on my face and cause blinding headaches and the kind of pain that is normally cured by swallowing a bullet fired directly into the mouth). But I wrote anyway. Thursday I tried going into work and ended up coming home early, I felt so horrible. I couldn't do a blog entry, but I wrote anyway. Friday I never got out of bed until afternoon. But I wrote anyway.

Here's the thing: as long as I can figure out, in my blindness, in my searing pain, how to turn on the computer, I can write. It takes almost no energy to touch the keys and make them produce letters, and even if I nap between each word, I can write.

I still have to clean my house and take care of my family and figure all this work crap out, etc. But I'm not going to fall down on my words. That's too important. If you're a writer, that's what you do. Regardless of what else happens, you make the time to do the writing. Otherwise you're just another one of those whining wannabes who sits down, writes a sentence or two, and then succumbs to an attack of the vapors and just can't go on.

Writers, we're better than that. We're stronger than that. We know that the only thing that makes us writers is that we write.

Tips & Tricks #5: In the Company of Writers

During November, writers all over the world gather in little clutches to huddle together over the warm glow of lighted laptop screens. These are our most sacred rituals. These are the write ins.

Make no mistake, I'm not a gregarious person in the least. I hate everyone and wish they would leave me the hell alone. On the other hand, it must be understood that at least part of that desire is the acknowledgement that I can talk the ears off a gundar, and solitude forces me to focus on the tasks at hand.

During write-ins, however, there is a different dynamic going on. For the first half hour or so, there's the inevitable gossiping and catching up, but then people settle down and begin writing. It's inspiring to see other people in action. Some stare up at the ceiling for a few minutes, then turn their faces to the screen. Some stare fixedly at the screen, although their typing may only come in short bursts. Some stare furiously, as though they will fix the words to the page through sheer force of will, which is not far from the truth.

I always end up feeling as though I get bonus words by writing in a gathering. Like, for every 10 words I type, I get one free, upping my night's word count by ten percent. Last night, I ended up doing an extra nine hundred words for the day, which pleased me no end. I'm not saying that this will happen to you, but you never know if you don't try.

The other thing is that the people in the room serve as a handy source for opinion polling (which do you like better - sauerkraut or cotton candy?), thesaurus information that's more contextually sensitive than you can get anywhere else, and cheering section. Don't underestimate the value in that!

Write by yourself. Write in a group. Write. Now.

Tips & Tricks #4: Know When to Quit

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I'm not the sort of person who can pull off a Herculean all-nighter on the last day. Yes, I'm a procrastinator. Yes, I'm a rationalizer. But I'm also aware of the value of sitting down and getting it done.

Here's the value: getting to do something else.

My daily goal is 2,000 words. Most days, I beat that goal by a hundred or so words. If I meet this goal on a daily basis, I will easily make my 50,000 words in 30 days. In fact, I'll make it in 25 days. Lucky me.

But in the meantime, there's laundry to do. Children do feed. Winter in the mountains also involves lots of additional chores like bringing up wood, covering plants, finding lost mittens. The point is that while I think it's important to sit down every day and not get up until my 2,000 words are done, I think that it's equally important to GET UP after they're done.

I think a lot of people sit down for 12 hours a day for the first few days, write 10,000 words, which is a great thing, but are so overwhelmed by how much it takes out of them that they can't see going on. And I can't say that I blame them. I don't have 12 hours a day for a month to do anything. Modern life just doesn't work like that.

The only way I've been able to consistently do my thing and finish is by working the day I have set before myself, and then giving myself permission to stop. Lay down the pen, shut off the laptop, step away from the blackboard.

The plus side is that when I go back to it, I have had off time to chew over ideas and figure out where my characters are and where they should be. That off time for thinking things through is valuable to me, and without it, I think that my process would take me much longer as I tried to muddle my characters through poorly conceived situations on the fly, only to have to write them back out of it again.

Hang out. Sleep. Read a magazine. Eat a meal while holding a glass of water in the other hand. Do things that don't involve writing for a little bit.

And then go back to it.

Tips & Tricks #3 - Day 1

There were a lot of people who stayed up until after midnight to begin their novel. Good on them! While I did a lot of reviewing and perfecting characters and plot points prior to midnight, I did manage to make it into bed at 11:49 p.m., and therefore didn't write a word until this morning.

And I'm not convinced that any of it is any good. See, I'm not a morning person. In my perfect life, I would wake at about 8, spend an hour washing, dressing and eating breakfast, go out and get some exercise, and then about lunchtime settle down to writing. I would work for 4-5 hours, take a break at dinner time, then work another 4-5 hours, ending my night between midnight and 1 a.m. It would be lovely if I could maintain this schedule, but alas, the rest of my household seems wedded to a more traditional schedule.

For the month of November, I attempt to have it both ways. I still have to get up each day and leave the house at 6:25 in the morning to get to work by 7, but then I also stay up until midnight or 1 every night, cutting my effective sleep by a tremendous amount. I tend to make up for it on the weekends, which generally involve the entire family tiptoeing around the house until about 10 in the morning so as not to wake me.

I can hardly wait until success steps in to make this whole ugly process much, much easier (i.e., cutting out the day job).

I have begun writing, and have amassed a whopping 551 words as of 11 this morning. I'll most likely cross my 2k word goal at this afternoon's management meeting where I intend to be completely oblivious (as soon as I'm done giving my presentation).

November has begun. My head is bowed, but unbloody.