The Tiny Fan Club

I've been writing to Peaches at camp. They have something called "Bunk Notes" at camp. You send an email, and at dinnertime, the counselors print out the emails and hand them over to the campers with the other mail. I like it because I don't have to leave my house or find a stamp or envelope, and the lag is minimal.

In the first week, I wrote normal letters. "Daddy and I had enchiladas for dinner. The dogs miss you," that kind of thing. At the end of the first week, my older daughter came home from camp announcing that she had been nicknamed "Muffin" by the rest of camp. I'm not the mother of anyone named "Muffin." But if I have to be Muffin's mother, my daughter is going to receive letters from Muffin's mother. Here's a little sample:

My darling Muffin,

Daddy and I went to the theater last night and saw a lovely production of the new play "That One Guy Talked to That Other Guy For an Hour And a Half and Then We All Went Out For Drinks." I just love art that imitates life! Anyway, I saw Mrs. Wellman-Bryson down near the orchestra wearing something that looked like it was made out of meringue and spiderwebs. Honestly, one shouldn't appear in public wearing just whatever rubbed off on one while breezing through the kitchens!

Today has been hectic, hectic, hectic! The Prime Minister dropped in unannounced and asked me if I would be available to be the ambassador to one of those South American countries that begins with...S? R? I don't know. It's a letter of the alphabet, anyway. I said I wasn't terribly keen on moving to a country with spiders the size of briefcases, but he assured me that my impressions of South America were all wrong. So, when you get back, we're all moving to Paraguay. Brush up your Spanish, my darling!

In other news, your winter wardrobe has been solved! The gardeners came rushing into the house (through the FRONT DOOR, no less!) shouting that we were being invaded by bears. Daddy took his musket and took care of the brutes, and the short story is that you will have a lovely new bearskin coat for school this year. You'll look so rugged & rustic, my darling! Let us know if you're in the market for a coonskin cap to go with it. I'm sure we could arrange something.

Well, I should wrap this up. We're expecting the champagne truck to come rattling up any old minute with this month's delivery. We're doubling up this month because we're hosting the Duchess' 104th birthday celebration and you remember how that woman can pour the stuff down! I guess when you're that age, it doesn't matter whether you're asleep and drooling in your chair before dinner. People expect it of you.

Love to all, darling!! TA!

I was flattered to learn that all of camp was reading my letters daily. The woman who was the counselor of Peaches' cabin asked if I would continue to write to her, even while Peaches is out at Yosemite this coming week and won't be getting emails. I told her that of course I'd write. One must support one's fan base, after all.