Sources of Inspiration

I've never once suffered from "writer's block." I've never sat at my computer, looking at a blank screen without an idea in my head. My problem is most often the other way around - I have too many ideas running around my head and can't get them all down fast enough.

Where do I get these ideas?

Stuff happens to me. Like...going through my spam folder and seeing the eight million messages that tell me that I should be concerned about the size of my penis. Since "my penis" doesn't exist, should I still be concerned about it? Or should I be even MORE concerned? And is it even worth it to add "up to 1 inch" to something that doesn't exist, leaving me with only one inch?

Or the fact that I'm stalked by meat. It started happening about eight years ago, and it continues to this day. Last month I was at the car dealership getting my car done, and as I was pacing in the parking lot waiting for the Pirate to pick me up, there was a giant slice of ham lying on the ground. It was gone by the time I came to pick up my car.

And the newest, and bestest? A psycho has been BCCing me in a series of emails that outline his ongoing effort to sue the state after an incident last year where he was carted off to a mental hospital. I've talked to quite a few people about whether or not you can "accidentally" BCC someone on a series of emails. No. You can't.

So, now I'm thinking hard about what it means that this person is copying me on what is, essentially, a very self-incriminating series of emails and what he might be trying to tell me.

It makes me wonder if this kind of stuff happens to everyone. It must, because my life is sort of boring, compared to the lives of most people.