You and the Federal Bailout

Ever since Monday, when I met a homeless man whose sign said "Tell me off for $1," I've been thinking about him. Whenever I get the sharp side of someone's tongue at work, I always think the same thing: "They don't pay me enough to put up with this kind of crap." I saw this man offering to let people chew him a new one for a single dollar, and it makes me sad that he values himself so little that he believes that his humiliation is only worth a single dollar.

But what would be enough? Part of the problem is that I don't know this man. It's hard to read the riot act to someone that you don't know and who is obviously not in a position to have ever done you harm.

And then I was talking to the Pirate about how my sister and I are alike in one respect: that we will give anything to those who ask, but we're both angered when people take things from us without asking.

For some reason, it made me think of what that man could do to really up the amount of money he earned by letting people yell at him. If he did some grooming, put on a suit and tie and clipped a badge to his chest that said "AIG" and his name, along with a suitable picture, he could hang out a sign that said "Tell me off for $10" and have people lining up around the block to yell at him.

And then I thought: THAT'S IT! That's what would not only take the sting out of the Federal bailout, but would help ensure that it never happened again. If, instead of just going back to work or living large on their outsized pensions; instead of having to pay fines or do jail time, what if the *actual* executives of AIG, of every failed bank, of GM, etc., had to spend all day every day having every single person in America bawl them out.

For AIG alone, the U.S. government is forking over $85 billion dollars, which translates to just over $279 for each and every one of us. If someone hung a sign around his neck that said "Tell me off for $279" what would you have to say to him? Every man, woman and child is giving GM about a quarter of that - about $70 each. What would you say to someone for $70? I think that I would feel better about the whole bailout thing if I were allowed to spend a few minutes with each executive, telling them what I could have done with that money had I not had to hand it over for their bailout. Buy my kids schoolclothes...pay my electric bill....pay for my kid's entire two years of tuition at a community college...

If you were allowed to talk directly to one of the AIG executives before handing over your tax check, what would you say?