In the Virtual Bank Line

I was at a luxury resort whose driveway included a bridge over a deep, clear moat. The moat was a decorative touch, the bottom covered with colorful fake plants and rocks visible from anywhere in the resort (think: the submarine ride at Disneyland). From the driveway, a stone footbridge led to a stone pavilion where one could be close to the water.

I was in the pavilion talking to the woman who had been hired to be the mermaid. She wasn't the voluptuous, hair-combing kind of mermaid. Rather, she was the bony, spiny, lobstery kind who looked more seahorse than manatee.

She wore greasepaint that highlighted the peaks and valleys of ther body, which gave her skin the look of a carapace, a hard shell. The mermaid complained about her job and the toll that the hours in chlorinated water and greasepaint took on her skin. She bitched about the impact that job was having on her acting career.

As I was leaving, cars were comign across the bridge - limousines and huge SUVs obviously carrying important people. Celebrities were showing up with the attendant lights and fanfare. There was going to be a magic show, televised and broadcast, so all the celebrities were dressed to be seen.

One particular man, a sporst figure, abandoned his SUV on the bridge, stepping out in a cherry-red silk suit that gleamed in the spotlights. The cameras swarmed to teh banks of the moat to catch the man, who said that he'd been studying magic forever and he had it all figured out. He was there, he said, to relax and have a good time, but he was too smart to be taken in by a little sleight of hand.

He strolled to the edge of the pavilion and bend over to start flirting with the mermaid who sat coyly on the bottom step of the pavilion, smiling at the man's advances. As he approached her, she smiled and flipped into the water. The man laughed at the antics of the mermaid and came closer to the edge of the water. The mermaid's head appeared, and as the man bent forward to say something, he toppled over and fell into the water.

The combination of his churning arms and legs and the bright spotlights rendered the water opaque and obscured the man's body from view. The water continued to splash and froth with the commotion, only dying down as the man managed to climb back onto the steps of the pavilion - but now, he was naked except for a pair of filthy sneakers. He pulled himself out of the water and stared around, not seeming to realize that he was nude. A lackey from the hotel came running up with a blanket to cover the man, who was now shaking and trying to cover himself from the cameras' view. As the huge man stared into the water trying to figure out what had happened to him, the mermaid's head appeared in a spotlight and she announced "The magic has begun."