Saturday, June 14, 2003

Why is my Life so F*****g Inconvenient and Where is My Personal Jetpack?

This morning started off really, really well. Any morning where you've gotten it twice before 9:30 a.m. is okay in my book. And he made me breakfast, to boot.
So then I'm using my leftover brain cells to figure out what I'm going to do today. I had a wonderful meeting with a friend who's currently helping me edit my book, and the takeaway from that meeting is that I have to raise the stakes for at least 3/5 of my book. Okay, that sounds tough, but in fact I'm grateful to hear it. But the thing that annoys me is that the Pirate thinks of this as a step backward, as though everything up until now was a waste of time, or that I had been pursuing something that hasn't paid off.
I've tried to tell him that this is not programming. I do not have a "desired end state" in mind, and then a series of logical steps to get to in that desired end state. I've told him that once I had actually finished writing the novel, there would be several rounds of edits, many probably substantial. I think that the outside world thinks of the editing process as one of taking out all of the extra words and correcting the spelling. He doesn't get the part where I have to do a "vacuousectomy," wherein I remove the parts that suck, and hopefully stop the suckage. It's a delicate process.
But where do I get the time for this? Tomorrow is father's day. Tonight I'm supposed to cart my younger one off to her father's house an hour away, and then make the trek back, so that's two hours out. I want to speed up the process of getting this novel sold so that I can make huge flipping wodges of cash, so that I can quit working so that I can sit home and write more. It's a viscous circle and I'm stuck in it.
And to top it all off, technology is NOT making my life any easier. I spend half an hour yesterday morning formulating my grocery list on the Household Management Console, then transferring it to Safeway.com so that my groceries could be delivered to me whilst I spent my valuable time transforming my garden into a weed-free, well-fertilized productive earthly Eden. But NO.
Safeway (once again) screwed up and delivered only half of my groceries, which means that if I'm to make Bulgarian Red Pepper Stew for dinner tomorrow, or soyrizo and jalapeno jelly crepes for breakfast (the Pirate likes the spicy foods), I have to haul my sorry kiester down to the store. And in return for screwing up my order, they offer me a paltry $10 off A FUTURE ORDER. No. I'm sorry, this is not acceptable. My enemies do not get to delay their demise. They must pay now.
On the other hand, I'm doing research into the life of Mary, and one of the sites I found is just chock-full of incredibly fascinating historical information on daily life around the time of Christ, all laid out in a very non-mystical sort of way. The whole incident of the boy Jesus in the temple was laid out as "they went on vacation every year, and one year they accidentally left for home without him." And the words of Mary were quoted as being "Do you not see how worried your father and I were?" When I was thirteen, we went to Lake Tahoe on vacation and I fell asleep before we left and got left behind, and my mother blamed me for it too. I wonder if Jesus was as pissed off as I was not only to have been left behind, but then to have his mother blame him for it. Some things never change, and if they can happen to the Son of God, apparently they can happen to anybody.
Okay. Now I'm done bitching. I'm going to go and cook some sole and herbed rice and whatever veggies we still have in the kitchen. And then I'm going to spend a whole lot of time tonight re-packaging the 3/5 of my story that need help. Wish me luck!